100 ‘Humerus’ Skull Puns and Jokes (2022)

Skull against teal blue background
What did the skulls say before eating dinner? Bone appetit!

Spooky season is right around the corner, so we’ve compiled a long list of skull and skeleton puns that will tickle your funny bone.

Whether you’re writing Halloween Instagram captions, or just love a clever pun, this article is for you.

What is a pun? A pun is a joke that takes advantage of the different possible meanings of a word. Sometimes is plays on words that sound alike but have different meanings.

Happy Halloween!

Skull Puns & Jokes

1. What did the skulls say before eating their dinner? Bone appetit!

2. How do skulls greet each other France? Bone Jour.

3. How do skulls express their love for each other? “I am head over heels for you.”

4. Why was the skull lonely? It had no-body.

Skull against a gray background looking to the left. Sideview of the top of a skeleton.
Why was the skull lonely? It had no-body.

5. Who won the race between the skeleton and the skull? The skull, it was just a-head.

6. How do you know why a skull will never win an argument? It doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

7. What do you call a skull that stayed in the freezer too long? A numbskull.

8. What is a skull’s favorite song? Bone to be wild.

9. Why couldn’t the skull get out of bed? It was bone tired.

10. How do you make a skull laugh? Tickle its funny bone.

11. How did skulls send mail in the old days? The bony express

12. What do skulls use to get into their homes? A skeleton key.

13. Who is a skull’s favorite historical figure? Napoleon Bone-a-part.

14. What was the skull doing at the hockey game? Driving the zam-boney.

15. What’s a skull’s favorite plant? A bone-zai tree.

Skulls laughing against a wooden background.
How do you make a skull laugh? Tickle its funny bone.

16. What’s a skull’s favorite musical instrument? A sax-a-bone

17. What do you call a skull that looks exactly the same as another skull? Dead ringer.

18. What dishes do skulls like eat on? Bone china

19. What kind of birds do skulls like best? Sea skulls.

20. Why did the skulls go to the museum? Because the wanted to go see the skull-ptures.

21. What did the skull make out of origami? An crane-ium.

22. What is a skull’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.

23. Who won the skull beauty contest? No body.

24. How did the skull reprimand her kids? She skull-ded them.

25. What do you say to a skeleton who’s leaving on a trip? Bone voyage!

Why couldn’t the skull get out of bed? He was bone tired.

26. What did the skull say to the other skull when it was angry? You’re dead to me.

27. My friend was shot through his skull but survived. I can’t imagine what was going through his mind at the time.

28. How do you call a skull? On his cell bone.

Do you have other skull jokes to share? Send them to us at hello@mkewithkids.com


Skeleton Puns & Jokes

We scoured the internet so you don’t have to. Here’s a giant list of funny skeleton jokes and puns (or should we say ‘humerus’?).

1. What is a skeleton’s favorite Shakespeare quote? Tibia, or not tibia, that is the question.

2. Why didn’t the skeleton like winter time? It gets cabin femur.

3. What’s a skeleton’s favorite thing to get at a BBQ? Spare ribs.

4. What do you call a dad joke about skeletons? A skele-pun!

5. How does a skeleton say “Seize the day”? Carpal Diem!

Skeleton couple, one sitting on a bench and the other with their hands on the other's shoulder.
What did the skeleton say to his wife? I love every bone in your body.

6. What do you call it when a skeleton realizes something important? An epipha-knee.

7. How did the skeleton know he was sick? He had a femur.

8. What is a skeleton’s favorite Hootie and the Blowfish song? I ulna want to be with you.

9. What’s a skeletons favorite tv shows? Bones.

10. What do you call a skeleton who doesn’t do any work? Lazy bones.

11. Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.

12. Where’s the coolest part of a skeleton? Its hip.

13. Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost eaten by a group of wild dogs? It was a marrow escape.

14. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

15. Who is the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.

Skeleton in a top hat sitting on a pumpkin.
Why didn’t the skeleton ask someone to the Halloween dance? He didn’t have the guts!

16. Why didn’t the skeleton ask someone to the skeleton dance? He didn’t have the guts!

17. Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.

18. There’s not much to this skeleton joke. It’s bare bones.

19. How did the Halloween Store stay open during the labor shortage? Because it had a skeleton crew.

19. What does the skeleton use to carve his pumpkin? A shoulder blade.

20. Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs? Because they’re easily rattled!

21. What is a skeleton’s favorite action movie? Indiana Bones.

22. Who is a skeleton’s favorite 90’s singer? Bone Jovi.

23. How did the skeleton tell what was going to happen? It could just felt it in his bones.

24. Why did the skeleton drop out of medical school? He didn’t have the stomach for it.

25. Why wasn’t the skeleton feeling brave? It had no backbone.

Skeleton working at a desk holding a pen and wearing a hat.
Being a skeleton isn’t all it’s cracked up tibia.

25. There’s a skeleton in your closet.

26. Being a skeleton isn’t all it’s cracked up tibia.

27. Have you been spine on us?

28. Aren’t you going to talus how great we are?

29. Having you in my life is such a bone-us.

30. What do you call a skeleton? A big ol’ bag a bones.

31. What kind of Halloween party do skeletons love? A Halloween Bone-anza.

32. What did the skeleton dress up as for Halloween? A lumbar-jack.

33. How did the skeleton know what he wanted to be when he grew up? He was bone for it.

34. Why did the skeleton run for president? She was a natural bone leader.

35. That’s as dry as a bone.

Skeleton sitting in a blue chair working on their laptop holding a phone.
This skeleton is a bone-afide Halloween professional.

36. I’ve been working my fingers to the bone to make this the best Halloween ever.

37. I’m a bone-afide Halloween professional.

38. How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying? He could see right through him.

39. Why didn’t the skeleton play football? His heart wasn’t in it.

40. What do you call a lie told by a skeleton? A fibula.

41. Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.

42. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tickle his funny bone!

43. Why did the skeleton insist on carrying around a bucket of gore? Because it was his own flesh and blood!

44. What did the skeleton say to his wife? I love every bone in your body.

45. What’s the best way to reach a skeleton? Call him on his skel-phone.

Skull with colorful flowers.
Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

46. What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most? Elbow macaroni.

47. Why don’t skeletons do well at sports? Because they have no skin in the game.

48. It was pretty clear that the skeleton was having a great time at the party. He looked like he was having an osteoblast.

49. What is a skeleton’s favorite tree? A s-pine tree.

50. How were the two skeleton teachers different? One was humerus, one was sternum.

51. Why don’t skeletons like cold weather? The chill goes right through them. 

52. What do you call a skeleton who is not very smart? A bonehead.

53. Why are graveyards so noisy? Because of all the coffin.

54. What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument? A trim-bone.

55. What is a skeleton’s favorite cheer? Hip hip hooray!


We hope everyone has a skele-TON of fun this Halloween. 

Want us to list a femur Halloween jokes here? Send your skull, skeleton and bone puns to hello@mkewithkids.com.

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