175 Dumb Jokes for Kids That Are Actually Funny (2024)

Child laughing at a joke.

Families who laugh together stay together – it’s the best way to bond and connect.

As parents, we want to do everything we can to make our children happy, and sometimes that means being the “class clown” and telling a few goofy jokes.

But coming up with new material can be a challenge, which is why we’ve done the work for you.

Luckily, you don’t have to memorize a bunch of complicated jokes to make your kids smile. Sometimes the best jokes are the dumbest ones.

And while the last thing you may want to become is a parent who tells funny dad jokes, sometimes that can be a good thing. It’s those stupid jokes that will get everyone laughing and connecting.

If you’re looking for funny jokes your kids will love, you’re in the right place.

We scoured the internet for the best kids’ jokes that exist. To make our list, they had to be simple, funny, and easy to understand.

Here’s the end result: one epic list of silly jokes – punch line included!

You can spend a lot of time together reading through these and choosing the ones you like the best. There are all kinds of jokes on this list (food-related, science-related, knock knock jokes, etc.)

We hope they give you a good laugh.

Let’s dive in!

175 Best Kids Jokes

1. What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock.

2. How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.

3. What did one toilet say to the other?
You look a bit flushed.

4. Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?
Because she will “let it go.”

5. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.

6. What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.

7. How do you make an artichoke?
You strangle it.

8. Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

9. Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?
Because they’re such fungis! (Fun guys, get it?)

10. What did one plate whisper to the other plate?
Dinner is on me.

11. Why do Santa’s elves go to therapy?
To help their elf esteem.

12. Why did the kid throw a stick of butter out the window?
To see a butter-fly.

13. Why didn’t the teddy bear eat dessert?
He was stuffed.

14 .What do you give a sick lemon?
A Lemon-aid.

15. What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.

16. Why can’t you trust atoms?
They make up everything.

17. How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!

18. Which hand is better to write with?
Neither, it’s better to write with a pen.

19. Why did the math book look so sad?
Because of all its problems.

20. What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!

21. How many lips does a flower have?

22. What are the strongest days of the week?
Saturday and Sunday. All the others are weekdays.

23.Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to take a swing at you. That’s the punch line.

24. How did one one tectonic plate apologize to the other?
“My fault.”

25. What do you call a guy who never farts in public?
A private tutor.

26. How do you get a tissue to dance?
You put a boogie in it.

27. What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.

28. What’s red and smells like blue paint?
Red Paint.

29. What do you call cheese that’s not your cheese?
Nacho cheese.

30. Did you hear about the population of Ireland?
It’s Dublin.

31. Who did the zombie take to the dance?
His ghoul-friend

32. What do you call a rich elf?

33. How do you talk to giants?
Use big words!

34. Why was the skeleton afraid of the storm?
He didn’t have any guts.

35. Why do dogs float in water?
Because they are good buoys.

36. Which superhero hits the most home runs?

37. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.

38. What street do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.

39. What is a witch’s favorite lesson at school?

40.What is the tallest building in the entire world? 
The library, because it has so many stories.

41. How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.

42. What is the smartest state?
Alabama. It has four As and one B.

43. What state makes the most pencils?

44. What are a ninja’s favorite type of shoes?

45. What rock group has four members but doesn’t make a sound?
Mt. Rushmore.

46. What’s the fastest country in the world?

47. My friend is an expert reading maps.
He’s a legend.

48. What did the policeman say to his belly button?
“You’re under a vest.”

49. When does a joke turn into a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.

50. When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.

51. Why did the traffic light turn red?
It had to change in the middle of the street.

52. Who earns a living driving their customers away? 
A taxi driver.

53. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because he felt crummy.

54. Why are ghosts such bad liars?
Because you can see right through them.

55. What has ears but can’t hear?
A cornfield.

56. Why did the pony get sent to his room?
He wouldn’t stop horsing around. 

57. What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business!

58. Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?
He was looking for Pluto.

Best Joke Books for Kids

59. Where do you learn to make banana splits?
At sundae school.

60. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
“Don’t take me for granite!”

61. What kind of dinosaur loves to sleep?
A stega-snore-us.

62. Why do seagulls live by the sea?
Because if they lived by the bay, they’d be bagels!

63. How does a scientist freshen her breath?
With experi-mints!

64. Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
Lack of concentration.

65. What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?

66. What did the dalmatian say after lunch?
“That hit the spot!”

67. Why can’t a leopard hide?
Because he’s always spotted!

68. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? 
All that was left was de Brie

69. What type of markets do dogs avoid?
Flea markets!

70. What do music and chickens have in common?
Bach, Bach, Bach!

71. What did one penny say to another penny?
“We make cents.”

72. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
“Something between us smells!”

73. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office?
For tocking too much.

74. What do you call a dishonest reptile?
A crookodile.

75. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

76. What do you call a quiet laugh in Maui?
Aloha. (A low “ha”)

77. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash!

78. Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!

79. Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.

80. What did the zero say to the eight?
“Nice belt!”

81. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

82. What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.

83. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Their honeycombs.

84. What state has the most streets?
Rhode Island.

85. Why do underwear tell bad jokes?
They’re too brief.

86. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it.

87. What has more letters than the alphabet?
The post office.

88. What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint Nickel-less.

89. Where do you take a boat with a cold?
The boat doc. (dock)

90. Why can’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they’d crack each other up.

91. Why can’t you trust stairs?
Because they’re always up to something.

92. Why was the bicycle lying down?
It was two-tired.

93. What did one hat say to the other?
“I’m going on a-head.”

94. Why did the picture get arrested?
It got framed.

95. What is the name of the penguin’s favorite aunt?
Aunt Arctica.

96. What is a plumber’s least favorite vegetable?

97. What is the name of a witch that lies on the beach?
A sand witch.

98. How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles.

99. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot.
A carrot.

100. What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador.

101. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain.

102. Why can’t you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he is always lion.

103. What do you call a fish with no eye?

104. What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.

105. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.

106. Where do sharks go on vacation?

107. What is a chicken’s least favorite day?

108. Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.

109. How do cows spend their free time?
In moovies.

110. What does a cow call his mother?

111. What do you call a bull when they fall asleep?
A bull-dozer.

112. What does a pampered cow give us?
Spoiled milk.

113. What did the lion say to the deer?
“Pleased to eat you”.

114. What did the Buffalos say to their son when he was going to school?

115. Why did the squirrel like my friend?
Because my friend is nuts.

116. What did the wolf say when the mice bit him?

117. Which animal plays sports all the time?
A bat.

118. What happened to the toad who left the forest?
He was soon froggotten.

119. What was the first thing the baby corn asked the mama corn when he woke up?
“Where is pop corn”?

120. How do you make an egg roll?
Push it.

121. Why was the baby strawberry late for school?
Because her parents were stuck in a jam.

122. Why can’t a man make milk?
Because he lactose qualities.

123. How much does it cost a Neutron to buy groceries?
No charge.

124. What do astronomers do to plan a birthday party for their friend?
They planet.

125. What is very odd?
Every other number.

126. Whom can you always count on?
Your fingers.

127. Which season do mathematicians enjoy the most?

128. Why did the obtuse angle lose the argument?
Because he was not right.

129. What is a bird’s favorite type of math?

130. What kind of music do balloons hate?

131. Why is the keyboard always tired?
Because it has two shifts.

132. Why was the bullet unemployed?
Because it was fired.

133. What happened when David lost his ID?
He became Dav.

134. What do you call a mountain that is funny?

135. What did the big brother flower say to his little sister when she was born?
“Hi, bud”.

136. Why did the nose complain about the finger?
Because the finger was always picking on him.

137. How do ghosts address a letter?
Tomb it may concern.

138. Why are colds not good criminals?
Because they are very easily caught.

139. Why was the coffee scared?
He got mugged.

140. Knock, Knock!

Who knocks?


Boo who?

Why are you crying all of a sudden? Is everything okay?

141. Knock, Knock!

Who’s out there?


Ya who?

No, I’m going to Google it.

142. Knock, Knock!

Who is outside?


Cash who?  

Not really, thanks, I am allergic.

143. Knock, Knock!

Who is knocking on the door?

A circle.

A circle who?

Oh don’t worry anymore, it’s pointless.

144. Knock, Knock!

Who’s out there?


Doctor Who?


145. Knock, Knock!

Who’s out there?


Annie who?

Annie thing that you say or do will be used against you.

146. I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts.

147. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.

148. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn’t see himself doing it.

149. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth hurt-y!

150. What sound does a witches car make?
Broom Broom.

Bonus dad jokes:

151. My wife asked me if I could clear the kitchen table.
I had to get a running start but I made it!

152. I can’t take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
Guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

153. How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?
An arm and a leg.

154. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away!

155. How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?
He had already felt his presents.

156. A vowel saves another vowel’s life.
The other vowel thanks him, saying, “Aye E! I owe you!” 

157. A traffic cop went through the trouble of putting a note on my windshield to let me know I positioned my car correctly.
It said ‘parking fine’ so that was nice.

158. Can February March?
No, but April May.

159. What should you say to a runner in the St. Patrick’s Day marathon?
Irish you luck

160. What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?
“I liked the leftovers before they were cool.”

161. Who helped the squash cross the road?
The crossing gourd.

162. Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize?
It was outstanding in its field.

163. What should you tell your family when they want you to stop telling Thankgiving jokes?
“I can’t quit cold turkey.”

164. Why can’t you get a job at the ice rink?
There’s a hiring freeze.

165. I was going to take a hike in the snow yesterday.
But then I got cold feet.

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We hope you loved this list of the best dumb jokes we could find. Let us know which of these good jokes are your favorite!

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