Looking for a good laugh that’s safe for school? You’re in the right place! We’ve rounded up the best jokes for kids to tell in the classroom, at lunch, or on the playground. These clean jokes are silly, smart, and sure to get giggles from classmates and grown-ups alike.
Whether you’re after funny school jokes to break the ice on the first day or just want to stash a few zingers in your back pocket, this collection is packed with hilarious jokes that are perfect for kids. From knock-knock classics to clever puns, these are the kind of jokes that bring smiles without getting anyone in trouble.
Get ready to laugh out loud—and maybe even become the class comedian.
🧠 School-Themed Jokes
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
Bookworms!
What did the science book say to the math book?
“Wow, you’ve got problems.”
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!”
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright!
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
What did the pencil say to the paper?
“You’ve got a good point.”
What’s the king of the classroom?
The ruler!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school!
Why don’t you ever see giraffes in elementary school?
Because they’re all in high school!
Why did the teacher write on the window?
Because she wanted the lesson to be clear!
What did the science book say to the history book?
“Wow, you’re really old!”
Why did the teacher go to the beach?
Because she wanted to test the waters.
Where do math teachers love to go in New York City?
Times Square!
Why was the broom late for school?
It swept in!
Why did the glue get an award?
Because it held everything together!
What’s a math teacher’s favorite type of tree?
A geometry!
What’s is a math teacher’s favorite dessert?
Pi, of course!
What do you call a bug that knows every word in the dictionary?
A spelling bee.
Why was the computer cold on the first day of school?
It left its Windows open!
What’s a math teacher’s favorite part of the first day of school?
The sum-mer vacation stories!
What’s an English teacher’s favorite dessert?
A synonym roll.
Why did the comma break up with the apostrophe?
It couldn’t deal with all the possessiveness!
Why was the obtuse angle always so frustrated?
Because it was never right!
What’s a math teacher’s favorite season?
Sum-mer!
Why did the plant do so well in math class?
Because it knew all its square roots!
What’s the blackboard’s favorite drink?
Chalk-o-late milk!
Why did the student bring a ladder to school?
Because they wanted to go to high school!
What did the pencil say to the eraser?
“You’re rubbing me the wrong way!”
What’s a ghost’s favorite subject?
Spelling!
🐶Animal Jokes
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A labracadabrador!
What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A python!
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What did the cow say to the calf at bedtime?
“It’s pasture bedtime!”
Why did the duck get sent to the principal’s office?
Because he was quacking jokes during class.
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neigh-bor.
What did the lion say after eating the clown?
“That tasted funny!”
Why don’t crabs ever share?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a fish who practices medicine?
A sturgeon.
Why don’t ants get sick?
Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
Why did the dog sit in the front row of class?
Because he wanted to be the teacher’s pet!
What kind of dinosaur knows a lot of words?
A Thesaurus!
Why are cats so good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
What do you call a cold dog?
A chili dog!
Why don’t zebras play hide-and-seek?
Because they’re always spotted!
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
Beef jerky!
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station!
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be bagels!
Love silly animal humor? Check out our full list of Monkey Jokes for Kids or get crabby (in a good way!) with these hilarious Crab Jokes & Puns for Kids.
🍕 Food Jokes
What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why did the banana go to the nurse?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What did one plate say to the other?
“Lunch is on me!”
What do you call dessert that run away?
Banana splits!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they’d crack each other up!
What do you get when you put a hot dog on skis?
Fast food!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
Because it ran out of juice!
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did one slice of bread say to the other at lunch?
“Let’s stick together!”
Why did the orange lose the race?
It ran out of juice!
Why don’t you starve at a math party?
Because there’s always pi!
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience!
Want a laugh with your lunch? Don’t miss our collection of 150 the best Lunch Box Jokes for Kids—perfect for packing a smile every day.
➕Math Jokes
Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
Because the teacher told them not to use tables!
Why didn’t the number 4 get invited to the party?
Because it was two square!
What’s a math teacher’s favorite place?
Times Square!
Why can’t you trust math teachers with graph paper?
They’re always plotting something.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless.”
Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
😆 Silly Jokes
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
Why did the skeleton stay home from school?
He was too “humerus” for class.
What kind of musical instrument do you find in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste.
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
Why did the knock-knock joke get sent to the principal’s office?
What’s a snake’s favorite subject?
Hissss-tory.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear to school?
Sneak-ers!
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-toad sandals.
What kind of shoes do bakers wear?
Loafers.
What kind of shoes do ghosts wear?
Boo-ts!
What did the traffic light say to the car?
“Don’t look at me—I’m changing!”
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat lunch?
Because it was already stuffed!
What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
Twister!
What’s the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream!
What’s the best way to make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
What’s the best way to organize a space party?
You planet!
What’s the best way to count cows?
With a cow-culator!
What’s is an ice cream cone’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae!
What kind of train eats too much?
A chew-chew train!
What’s a frog’s favorite year?
Leap year!
🤗 Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive my jokes are funny!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry—it’s just a joke!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
Wow, you’re really good at yodeling!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
Okay: W-H-O!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe come out and play with me?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a spider!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
No bell, that’s why I’m knocking!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police—come out with your hands up!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh—
MOO!
We hope these funny kid jokes gave you a good chuckle—whether you’re a teacher looking for a fun way to start the day, a parent packing lunchbox laughs, or a student trying to earn your place as the class comedian. After all, a good joke really is the best medicine!
Looking for even more laughs? Try these kid-favorite joke collections:
Calie Herbst, Editor-in-Chief of Milwaukee With Kids, has spent over a decade combining her experiences as a parent of three to create a hub for Milwaukee’s family adventures.
Her decade-long teaching career in Milwaukee Public Schools and academic background, including a Master’s in Teaching from Marquette University and dual B.A.s in Sociology and Spanish from the University of Wisconsin – Madison, fuel her passion for inclusive and engaging family content.
Calie is also a recognized voice in local media, contributing to WISN Channel 12 News, WTMJ Wisconsin Morning News, Fox 6’s Real Milwaukee, and B93.3.
Discover more about Calie’s journey and editorial approach on her About Page and Editorial Policy Page.
